“Having worked for a public transport company, I knew this was coming. There was no way they could have avoided an increase in bus fares,” my friend said when we met the other day.

As someone with ‘vast experience’ in almost every field, he always had insights to share on everything happening around us.

“But this is bad timing as the pandemic has hit people’s incomes,” I said as we awaited our turn on the tennis court.

He had invited me for a game after a long time. His regular friends had apparently cancelled for some reason or the other.

Our eagerness to have a few volleys had brought both of us to the court a bit early and we waited for our allotted time, watching two mixed couples in action. And the conversation had turned to the recent bus fare hike.

“Bus companies have been asking for a fare revision for two years. So the government had to agree,” he said.

“They should have done it when things were good, not now,” I continued to protest.

“You are saying that because you are not aware of scientific management. I have taught that too, you know. When things are tough, no one will notice if the bus fare is jacked up a few dollars. If it is done when things are okay, people will raise questions. Now everyone is used to economic hardships. So no problem,” he explained.

“Yeah, that may be true. But this new management techniques are a bit heartless,” I murmured.

“You can’t run a business with your heart. You have to use your head and take tough decisions. See what Cathay Pacific did. As flights came to a halt, they quickly let go over 8,000 people and saved around 5 billion dollars. That is how intelligent managers work,” the management wizard continued.

“Pity their intelligence didn’t help when they were hedging about aviation fuel prices. I heard they lost billions in the last decade over that,” I was slightly miffed over his praise for these bosses who sack employees at the first sign of trouble.

“That is not fair. The oil market is a very volatile one. It was sheer bad luck that world oil prices went below the rate Cathay was paying during most of those years. I know, I was once a consultant for an airline,” he said, flaunting his expertise further. “You can’t blame the experts for something that is unpredictable.”

“Which airline did you work for?” I asked, as I had never heard him mention this though I knew he was well connected.

He was silent for a minute, then replied: “Can’t tell you. Confidentiality clause prevents me from mentioning it.”

“Okay,” I said. “I hope you were not the person advising Cathay on this.”

He didn’t reply and suddenly seemed to be concentrating on the game that was going on and I decided not to pursue the subject.

After a brief interval, I said: “I am glad MTR trains have not increased their rates. That would be too much for a lot of people as millions depend on it.”

“Don’t you worry about that. Train rides are going to be a pleasant experience for everyone soon,” he said, with a knowing smile.

“How so?” I was taken aback. “I find them very crowded most of the time and feel uncomfortable as this is a time of social distancing.”

“That is why we have decided to implement some ideas that will be music to your ears,” he said.

“We? Are you advising them now?” I was getting worried about this.

“No. But I am involved with the Hong Kong Philharmonic Orchestra. MTR has decided to entertain passengers by having artists performing on some trains. To lift the mood of the commuters, our artists will be playing Mozart and Wagner for them,” he said.

His face told me he was expecting a joyous reaction and I said: “That is a novel idea!”

He sat back with a glowing smile that made me suspect that this must have been his brainwave.

I shuddered inwardly at the thought of someone playing a saxophone or a tuba next to me on a crowded train.

“Won’t it be a problem finding space inside trains for the artists during rush hour?” I asked, making a mental note to skip trains with saxophone players. “Where did this idea come from?”

“Actually, the original idea was to display artworks at train stations. But some of the paintings had too much yellow pigment and were declared unsuitable. So we changed the plan,” he said, as we got up and moved onto the court.

“We are also thinking of introducing hostesses with trolleys to sell food on trains. That could offer employment for some of the sacked aircrew and justify a fare increase later as the service becomes value added,” he said as he walked to his end of the court.

I was still thinking of the plight awaiting train commuters as I got ready to face the first serve from the master of spin.

(A fictional satire written by Hari Kumar, who is a journalist based in Hong Kong.)

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