It has become an automatic transmission for the Special Administrative Region (SAR) government to confound black and white, and bury conscience and moral. Sigh! Hong Kong, you are hopeless! The national security law is to view Hongkongers through the lens of mainland police. Based on their understanding and awareness of human rights, we are no different from mobs in Xinjiang. They have absolutely no way of comprehending our behaviors. Growing up under the rule of law and freedom in the British colonial times, those are as natural to us as breathing. The mainland public security, however, only allows for the obedient and submissive get to exist under the authority of the office. Therefore we have become a thorn in the flesh which must be rectified. For them, the rule of law and freedom are gifts granted by the master.

When we instinctively exercise our rights, the mainland police are not pleased. Who told you to be disobedient! They are strict and stern, with their strong arguments. Hong Kong, stuck between the gap of two different cultures, is hopeless. The mainland police regard the demands for human rights as within Hongkongers’ reactionary genes. In order to suppress this gene, they concocted the national security law for a deterrence effect. There is no need for reasoning, for the only reason is to scare you, to make you live in fear. Suddenly, the world around us is cold, as if we are being imprisoned in an invisible, formless cell, and we feel goosebumps all over.

I was 12 when I made a little tip by carrying people’s luggage at the Guangzhou Railway station. I carried the luggage of a middle-aged Hongkonger in a Tang suit. He was munching on a bar of chocolate as he walked. As we reached the tricycle, he gave me tips. Hesitating a little, he offered the chocolate in his hand to me. I couldn’t wait to take a bite. Wow! So delicious. What is this? He said it’s called chocolate. Where are you from? Hong Kong! I said Hong Kong must be heaven. He laughed, got on the tricycle, and left. As I watched the tricycle disappear into the horizon, I had a desire: I must smuggle myself to Hong Kong. One morning six months later, I was moved to tears as I ate breakfast at the roadside food stall on Fuk Wing Street. When you are freed, you are grateful. When freedom is plundered, and looking back at those glorious days of the past, you know it’s time to pay back.

Within two months of its implementation, the national security law has chilled the city with its deterrent effect. Hong Kong had once felt safe, and now it makes you feel lonely and hopeless. Everything has changed in just two months. No, the discomfort is more than just moving from a mansion to a sub-divided apartment, but being stripped of clothing and the hopelessness of standing stark naked in front of the master and being ordered what to do. There is no dignity in the naked you, and all you have left with are the shell of a body and feed. That is the treatment of animals. The national security law is forcing us to accept the fate of being an animal. We talk about civilization, you talk about violence. Violence shocks us, asks us to yield, to obey the worlds of the mainland police. Hong Kong has instantaneously become a world of thugs.

During troubled times, people learn that danger and challenges push one to realize your best potential. Crises force the true self to come out. Crises make you aware of the real you. My friend Mo is “light-blue”. At the arrest of Lam Cheuk-ting and Ted Hui, he phoned me and said, if this is what black and white have become in Hong Kong, it’s fucking finished. Time to run away. You’re a “blue-ribbon”, I don’t blame you. Just trying to live! When disasters loom, it is everyone for themselves. At least you’re being truthful. In the current era of silence, the truth is hard to come by.

Yes, the national security law has silenced the city. Has anyone looked at the price we paid? Hong Kong, a minuscule city, has triggered waves around the world. The cold war between China and the West has just begun. In the conflict between the two cultures, we have exemplified the civility of Western values and exposed the shamelessness of totalitarianism that eviscerates freedom. We uphold the torch to defend freedom, illuminating the hideous face of the CCP, and the world is shown how the CCP never keeps its promises. Hong Kong is the embodiment of Western civilization. Being brutally defiled, we have triggered the concern of Westerners and aroused resonance. The “foreign powers” which are most targeted by the national security law has become our greatest power. As long as we uphold the moral power of Western civilization, we will become a beacon of the free world. The world knows that when this beacon is extinguished, the world will fall into an abyss.

In the digital world, information is transparent. You violate us under broad daylight, you want us to give in. You have a heavy price to pay. Other than money and power, all you have left are lies. Whatever you do, god is watching, and you need not waste time arguing. We are willing to pay the price to keep the rule of law and freedom. Our blood and tears will turn into sparks of fire that illuminates the freedom and justice the world yearns for.

The end of an era is also the end of a story. The view from the window remains, yet the free Hong Kong is suddenly a story of the past. You realize that the soul is more important than the body. The scenery and the people look the same, and within two months, such vicissitudes of life, do you not find it strange? They are the same people roaming the streets, the same blue-collars trickling out of skyscrapers during lunchtime, but the free Hong Kong seems to be just a distant image through a telescope. That Hong Kong was so far away, washed over by dusk. The free Hong Kong sets like the red sun. Hong Kong is no more, all you have is white terror in front of you. The outside world is so ridiculous that those who have not forgotten about the freedom of Hong Kong gather within their echo chamber. When things go to the extreme, they backfire. Such absurdity. Is that a harbinger of something great major that is about to happen?

In just two months, the national security law has spread “panic” like a virus throughout the city. We are living under the plague, naked and defenseless against the attack of the “virus”. At least, once you catch the virus, you recover, you develop antibodies; after the panic, we will no longer be afraid. To not be afraid is to accept fate. Fate is testing us. Are we willing to pay the price for fate? Jesus was crucified and suffered on the cross, bearing the sins of the world. To accept the immediate suffering, to bear the “sin” for freedom, is to accept the gift of God, to ignite the holy light of hope in the dark tunnel towards an imminent disaster.

In her article, Jophy Sin Lai-ting wrote, “Now I’m grateful to be able to give my life to freedom.” I am touched, because this is the portrayal of our state of mind. If we all think this way, we will be saved.

This is the era of challenges, this is the era of giving. Giving, is our greatest reward. The day I smuggled to Hong Kong, I was sent to the factory for child labor. I woke up on a bench in the factory in the morning, and my companions took me to the food stall to eat rice rolls and congee. After two mouthfuls, I was elated. I was so happy that I dared not sit down. It was so delicious. Not only do you have food, but there are so many choices – the freedom that brings inexplicable comfort to the body.

This picture of Hong Kong is still so vivid 60 years later, and is also a portrayal of my entire life. That breakfast gave me a taste of the long-awaited freedom, such ecstasy. I was so grateful that I dared not sit down, and to this day I am still savoring that first breakfast, the rice rolls and the congee. My whole life I have been grateful for freedom, and have never forgotten.

Once you have given, you learn that letting go of yourself is actually redemption. To break free from the fetters of yourself, to enter that broad road bigger than you, to bear the immeasurable strength granted by the truth, goodness, and beauty of the universe. Only when you are grateful, you know that you are not here for yourself. You have got so much, and all of this cannot be just for you. You must give. In the extended stream of history, you leave behind the footprints of kindness, such that those who come after you will follow your footsteps towards kindness.

When you give, you realize that you are not living for yourself that is going to set you free. Without self, the stubborn power of humans to choose good becomes your power. This power is massive and magnificent. You bathe in it and feel the joy that transcends life. To transcend life is what life is all about. Look at human history, the thousands of miles of mountains and river; look back at oneself, one is indeed too insignificant and boring. You are not here for yourself.

Nothing much, just being fateful for this place, such that you know holding on is a responsibility granted by God. Living for the truth is what makes life meaningful. What is the truth? Jophy Sin said, “Now I’m grateful to be able to give my life to freedom.” Not for myself, this kind of reward is true, good, and beautiful. When we live in His image, it is true, good, and beautiful. The willingness to give and to redeem evil sins together, that is the truth. The willingness to give will ignite the effect of the five loaves and two fish. A miracle has always been an act of justice.

(Jimmy Lai is the founder of Next Digital, which publishes the Apple Daily and Next Magazine in Hong Kong and Taiwan.)

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