Electrifying ideas and handy transport solutions|Hari Kumar
A dinner invitation is always a tempting offer. The fact that it was from a friend whose firm was advising influential people on technological solutions made it even more tempting. I was more than happy to accept her invitation.
Being someone never short of ideas, she also promised to give me tips on how to stay safe even inside restaurants where you have to take your mask off for a long time.
She was waiting for me at a corner table of a crowded restaurant. Even as I sat down with a warm hello, I noticed something was wrong.
Instead of her beer bottle being on the coaster, the coaster was on the bottle.
“Why’s that? Afraid some fly will fall in?” I asked.
“Not flies. Virus. In closed areas there is a greater chance of the coronavirus circulating. Hence the coaster on top of the beer to keep out the virus,” she explained her improvisation.
“This is the plan I am going to propose so that the government can allow reopening of pubs.”
“Well, that is an added layer of protection, I guess,” I replied.
“Yes, now that restaurants are open, we need to help bars resume business. This is the solution that will allow authorities to raise restrictions,” she said, as she lifted the coaster, took a sip and put it back on top of the bottle.
“Hope they agree,” I said. “What other new ideas have you been working on?”
“Some electrifying ones,” she said, throwing her head back in laughter. I had no idea what the joke was and waited for her to explain.
“You must’ve heard that the government is going to phase out petrol and diesel cars by 2035, right? I am working on the development of electric vehicles and other green transport systems,” she continued.
“Weren’t you working on electric lorries before? How is that going?” I was curious as she hadn’t mentioned anything about it for a while.
“It’s going well. We have 50 percent success so far. But the next 50 percent is going to be uphill,” she said.
“How is an electric vehicle 50 percent successful? Meaning one side of it works?” My attempt at a joke fell flat and she squinted at me for a while, trying to figure out what I meant.
“No, la. Both sides of our vehicle work, but it is only good for downhill drives. Going up with heavy loads is still a problem. We have to fix that part,” she said.
“But we are pushing the government to allow electric goods carriers to be used on downhill roads for a start before expanding their use. They might agree as it will bring down pollution to some extent.”
“That’s true,” I agreed. “Pollution is a big problem. It is seriously disturbing and hurting the community, as the minister said.”
“Yeah, I am glad they agreed to our proposal to raise the tax on private vehicles,” she said with a proud smile.
“Wish they had raised the tax on luxury vehicles too. This is a bit unfair,” I protested.
“No, we have to keep them going if this place is to remain on the fast track. Moreover they are only a few dozen. Increasing tax on them is not going to bring in a lot of money for the government and those who buy them will hardly notice,” she said, finishing off her beer.
“That is true. It won’t stop them,” I said as I ordered two more beers. “But even electric cars are too expensive for most people.”
“That is why we are proposing affordable electric vehicles for others,” she said as she put the coaster on top of her fresh beer.
“You are making cheaper electric cars?” I asked.
“Not cars. We are looking at allowing electric wheelchairs to use one side of the highway. For those who can’t afford cars,” she said.
“Oh, was that your experiment? I thought it was some elderly man who got onto the busy road by mistake,” I said.
“No, that was our test run for the future. But this has not been announced yet officially. So keep it under your hat,” she warned.
“Ok, I will,” I agreed as I imagined rows of electric wheelchairs buzzing along the highways alongside Lamborghinis and Ferraris. “Even then, buses will remain on the road and pollution will continue as most of them are not electric,” I said.
“We are working on more environment-friendly public transport too. Looking to adopt some North Korean technology,” she said.
“North Korea has electric buses?” That was something I had never heard of. I was not even sure they had regular buses.
“Not electric buses. They have unveiled a new eco-friendly trolley-train system. Completely operated by hand, no overcrowding and fresh air for passengers. Apparently Russia has imported the technology already,” she said.
“We can use our tram lanes for such handy transport systems. I am sure the government will be very happy to see our proposals.”
Suddenly her phone rang and she signalled me to keep silent. After a few minutes, she ended the call and said: “Sorry, I have to leave now. Can we have the dinner some other day?”
“Sure,” I replied. “Any problem?” I was concerned.
“No, it is just that app we released recently. It seems it has some bugs. Need to fix it. Got to run, see you,” and she was gone before I could call for the bill.
Even as I paid for the beers it dawned on me that it was always poor people like me who ended up paying for the technical wizardry of geniuses like her.
(A fictional satire written by Hari Kumar, who is a journalist based in Hong Kong.)
We invite you to join the conversation by submitting columns to our opinion section:
[email protected]Apple Daily reserves the right to refuse, abridge, alter or edit guest opinion columns for accuracy, length, clarity, and style, and the right to withdraw and withhold columns based on the discretion of our editorial page editors.
The opinions of the writers do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the editorial board.
---------------------------------
Apple Daily’s all-new English Edition is now available on the mobile app:
bit.ly/2yMMfQETo download the latest version,
Or search Appledaily in App Store or Google Play