When the phone started ringing, and an unknown number flashed on the screen, I knew it was a scam call.

I thought for a second. Should I cut it off or like my friend, who is soft spoken and gentle most of the time but loses his cool when he gets a cold call, yell a few expletives and ask them not to call my number again?

Realizing my vocabulary is not as colorful as my friend’s, I decided to take the call and say a curt no.

“If you are going to offer a loan, I don’t want it,” I said, dispensing with the customary “hello” even.

“No, this is not a loan offer. This is to tell you about a new political party that we are launching to represent a growing sector in Hong Kong,” the voice on the other side said.

That certainly got my attention. Is this the new party that some finance experts in the city are planning to launch reportedly? Calling up people to join them was new tactics, I thought.

“Oh okay. I read that you bankers are planning a new political party,” I said, hoping to impress the caller with my political savviness.

“No, we are not those finance whiz kids who know only the rich. We are much more people-oriented than them. We are scam artists,” the confident voice said. Did I actually detect a note of pride in his voice?

“Did you say …scam artists?” I was not sure if I heard it right.

“Yeah, we are one of the best performing sectors in the city now. Haven’t you heard of us?” the man asked.

“At a time when every business is asking for cash handouts from government for survival, we are the only ones who have continued to show growth despite the difficult times,” the voice continued.

“Look, we made more than half a billion dollars this year alone. From short-term, one-step plan to projects spanning months and years, we had rolled out a whole range that suits different needs.”

“We have extended our catchment area beyond Hong Kong now, to Singapore and Macau, and eyeing more markets,” he went on. “So, we may be the only sector right now which is hiring more workers.”

This man was a trained tele-marketer alright. I knew I had to get a word in quickly before he went on and on about their success and how wonderful their products or services were.

“I have heard about your exploits, but never knew you had political plans,” I interjected hurriedly.

“Well, we think Hong Kong needs us now as a unifying force as we cut across all barriers,” the caller said. “I think we have all the necessary experience to enter the political arena.”

“How come?” I was mystified.

“Well, just look at our work. We deal with all sections of the society every day. From low-paid foreign domestic workers to rich people sitting on millions, we get in touch with them on a daily basis. That is more than what many political parties here can claim,” the voice explained.

“That’s true,” I had to agree. “But how will you make those people vote for you? "

“Easy,” the confidence in his voice was a bit unsettling for me.

“Look, you know how careful Hong Kong people are with their money. But we have made them transfer hundreds of millions of dollars to us. So, getting them to just cast a vote would be like a walk in the park for us.”

I was beginning to understand their diabolical plot.  “So, you will make calls pretending to be mainland officials and threaten trouble if they don’t vote for you?” I asked.

“Not to all of them, to some, yes. But we will have a varied approach for our constituents, like all political parties. Offers of love, investment tips, promise of loans … we will devise different political strategies,” he said.

“That could work,” I replied.

“By the way, are you a registered voter?” the voice asked.

“No,” I said as I hastily cut off the call before he could make me an offer I couldn’t refuse.

(A fictional satire written by Hari Kumar, who is a journalist based in Hong Kong.)

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