My dear,

My heart aches to see you so haggard. I’ve known you for half my life, but I’ve never seen you so sullen. I feel your confusion and resentment: Why the sudden loss of freedom? Why is there no hindrance to the apparent injustice? How long must the present hardship be endured? There are so many hurdles, and I cannot rush to you to provide some comfort, nor can I do anything to help restore justice. Here I can only try to ease your boredom a little.

Do you remember the classic novel “Alice in Wonderland” and its sequel? In 1997, there were so many people who were able to make their way to the top by confusing right and wrong. Gladys Li and I ridiculed each other and asked why we even bothered to study the law. The most ingenious powers are actually found in “Alice in Wonderland.” I had therefore incorporated the story into “Why Not Use English?” Reading it again today, I have found a deeper meaning. Here are some excerpts to see what you think.

When Alice first encountered the White Queen, the queen told her that she was over 100 years old, to which Alice responded, “I can’t believe that!” The queen told her to try again but Alice said, “There’s no use trying, one can’t believe impossible things.” “I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!” So, believing or not is not up to you, and if you still think some deer cannot possibly be horses, it is your fault for not putting in the effort. There are people who can do what you cannot achieve, and that is the result of diligent practice.

The White Queen pitied poor Alice who, like an imbecile, can only remember the past, but not the future. The following paragraph has to be transcribed in its entirety from the original text, but it should not be a problem with your excellent command of English.

“‘For instance, now,’ she went on, sticking a large piece of plaster on her finger as she spoke, ‘there’s the King’s messenger. He’s in prison now, being punished; and the trial doesn’t even begin till next Wednesday, and of course the crime comes last of all.’ ‘Suppose he never commits the crime?’ said Alice. ‘That would be all the better, wouldn’t it?’ the Queen said.”

Back then, we were happy in the midst of suffering, and could still manage to laugh about it. Who would have thought that today it has become black humor?

As the White Queen bound the plaster around her finger, she began screaming, and Alice asked her what was the matter. The queen replied that she has not pricked her finger yet, but she soon shall. As soon as the words were spoken, the brooch flew open and the queen pricked her finger, but she remained perfectly calm. “But why don’t you scream now?” Alice asked. The queen replied, “Why, I’ve done all the screaming already.” The real pain can only be answered with silence and indifference, rather than with words.

I really should not mention these unpleasant thoughts. Why don’t we talk about the mischievous Cheshire Cat, who I think is the star of the story? He would appear and vanish so suddenly, causing Alice’s head to spin, thus she asks him to fade away more slowly. The cat said, “All right!” and then his tail vanished first, and finally after his entire body disappeared, his grin still remained visible in midair for a while. “Well! I’ve often seen a cat without a grin, but a grin without a cat! It’s the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!” Alice said.

This cat caused a major controversy. As you remember, the Queen of Hearts wanted to decapitate him, but when the executioner arrived, the Cat had already disappeared with just the head left. “You can’t cut off a head unless there was a body to cut it off from!” he said. The King argued that anything that had a head could be beheaded!

What about us? You are wise, we will know how to slowly disappear. But to fade away, become bodiless leaving our grins behind, can we avoid getting killed?

Lit

Written on April 15, 2021

(Margaret Ng Ngoi-yee is a barrister, writer and columnist in Hong Kong. She was a member of the Legislative Council of Hong Kong from 1995-1997; 1998-2012.)

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