The Coroner’s Court ruled the cause of Yin Lam’s death suspicious. There is a picture circulated online showing her pretty face with two steams of tears trickling down on both sides, as though it was telling you she got in a lather because she was not engulfed by waves. She had been fighting curses in her life and tyranny, craving so much for family love and social justice. Her death is still a big question mark. Heartbroken, we feel extraordinarily doubtful whether it was “the police” or “nonchalance” that wrecked this angelical life.

With such a frame of mind, in spite of being tremendously concerned about the destiny of the 12 protesters who “plunged into the rough sea”, I couldn’t manage to watch the live relay of the press conference held by their families. How torturing was such a way of fleeing for their lives? Stashing themselves under a cabin, they were wringing their hands over the possibility of being intercepted. If they had arrived in the waters of Taiwan, they might have had to skin-dive to the shore. They resisted, ran for their lives, but ended up being sent by Chinese marine police, who opened the hatch, to a country where no human rights and rule of law is possible. Just think about it, you will get frightened out of your wits. I can’t imagine how deeply distressed and anxious their families are.

On the other hand, the blue-ribbon cut a caper to show how joyful they are, singing loudly “Large though its meshes may be, the net of justice lets no criminal through”, saying the rioters met their doom, etc.. Leung Chun Ying lashed out on judges by spreading out on his Facebook page the “serious crimes” these rioters committed. Those who left comments came at the judges who released them on bail, or wish they were gone forever.

One day later, when I managed to watch some footages of the press conference, I heard wails from the innermost of people. From some interviews, I learned how kind-hearted these rioters are. They have been helping old ragpickers push their carts since they were kids, taking care of stray cats and dogs. Who compelled them to get to such a dead end?

I have visited some protesters in custody in jail who have not been granted bail till now because the charges against them are more serious than those against the 12. These youngsters, depicted as fierce and fiendish rioters by the blue-ribbon, are in fact aspiring young men who are feeling remorseful for what they have done to their families. Handsome and enterprising, one of them worked hard to become a master’s student. In that short visit, he excitedly shared what he had caught on to from reading and how he adapted to life in prison while stealing a glimpse at times of his quiet mother who was sitting next to me.

That slim single mother is fighting a noxious disease while supporting her beloved son, her only offspring. “He always fulfils his filial duty, and is so sweet,” said she when showing me a letter from him in which he mentioned he would really want to go on an overseas trip with her. Every morning, she queues up outside the prison, craving being the first to go in to have a glance at her son before going to work. That day, we spent almost two hours waiting for a 15-min talk with her son. But she didn’t grumble at all, but said that without a quick look at him every day, she can’t live on. During the days that the National Security Law was about to be promulgated, what she was deeply worried about was the Department of Justice would prosecute his son with the anti-terrorist law. I tried to soothe her a bit saying common sense told us the new law was not retrospective. Yet, everyone knows the government does not act pursuant to common sense.

That reminds me of another comrade in jail. She told me she read my “correspondence in jail”, in which I queried the effectiveness of accusing the police by violence, and was even concerned about the valiant losing themselves in the bottomless fight. But she said her experience of living in the mainland made her realize the Chinese Communist Party’s words are not matched by their deeds, and it goes as savage as it can nonsensically. She has been struggling to choose between “insisting on being an elegant intellectual with strength of character and a good reputation, despite being bullied and oppressed, or wrestling with them to strive for a slim chance of survival”.

That young woman studied a professional degree course at university. Though her taking part in a demonstration for a sense of justice and being arrested was not really surprising, all her friends were taken aback knowing what offence she had been charged with for she is known for being placid and moderate. I still remember what she wrote at the end of the letter: “Irrespective of being in a small cage in jail or in a big cage outside, one should not relinquish kind-heartedness, tenderness and perseverance”.

Knowing she has been disheartened recently, I paid a visit to her with a district councillor in Lo Wu Correctional Institution to root for her. She was so elated as to bury her head in her arms placed on the table, and could only manage to talk to me face to face after quite a while, telling me the prison environment was good. I was also told she had caught on to something from reading Thich Nhat Hanh’s books. When it came to the end of the brief visit, she stood up to show a “heart shape” gesture with her hands on the other side of the glass to my friend. Having left the prison, I gave a call to her mother, then heard weeping over the phone, which was heart-breaking sighing for her beloved.

Blaise Pascal said man is a thinking reed. These are the young protesters I see. They are feeble but have noble spirits.

(Chan Kin Man, co-founder of Occupy Central Movement)

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