On Monday morning, the spring equinox had passed but the temperature suddenly turned cooler and I went to Stanley with my former colleague Y to visit Fatty Lai. This is the second time I visited him. The last time I saw him in the Lai Chi Kok Reception Centre was December last year, before his temporary release. This time it has been nearly three months since he has been tormented by the judicial process going in and out of court after losing his regained freedom on New Year’s Eve. During the same period, the city has experienced shocks and defeats such as the mass arrest of the 47 pro-democracy activists for taking part in the primary election, as well as the death of the electoral system.

Through the transparent plastic dividers, Y and I could see that Fatty Lai was thinner and darker, but he insisted that his belly had grown bigger. He stressed that everything has been fine, just that the mosquitoes in Stanley are a bit vicious and the bites are sore for a long time. “They say it’s the worst to be in jail in summer when it’s hot and full of mosquitoes,” he said.

Nowadays, Fatty always carries a book in his hand, whether he is in court or in jail. In his brown inmate uniform, this time he was holding a copy of Robert Cardinal Sarah’s “The Day is Now Far Spent.” Considered to be Cardinal Sarah’s most important book, it explores the spiritual, moral and political collapse of the Western world. “I think of myself as being in a monastery, and consider it a monastic practice.”

He said he was deeply touched by the article he read in the newspaper about the 47 activists charged with subversion. “I will hang in there, but I won’t ask those outside the walls to hang in there,” he said. What he meant was that the situation in Hong Kong had become far too dire and to tell people to hang in there might be asking them to pay a steep price. Hearing this, I was stirred with emotion. This is his insight after his three months in prison.

Just like last time, he spoke of himself casually, yet his eyes reddened and welled up when he talked about his family. All I could say was, “They have the support of their faith like you do, so they will be okay.” He nodded, “Yeah, it would be tough without religious support.”

For 15 minutes, we talked to each other and I never glanced at Y, but I would hear her sniffing her nose from time to time. After we came out from the prison, I asked Y, “Were you crying just now?” She said, “No...just on the verge.” The journalist in me asked her what she was crying about, and she replied, “Previously, I had asked him what he would do after retirement, to which he said he loved to work so in case he could not work, he would write books. But he said he was selfish and did not care much about other people, so he probably could not write good works. I don’t know if he still remembers saying that, but just now when he said he would not ask people to hang on, I think he actually does care about other people.”

I recalled Kin saying earlier that during a follow-up doctor’s appointment in Taiwan, he ran into Zhan Hongzhi who showed him a note on his cell phone from Fatty to Jaw Shaw-kong. The message was something to the effect of “I’m okay, no need to worry. How are you doing lately? What about Hongzhi? Give him my regards.” When Kin mentioned this incident, he was very emotional because despite losing his freedom, Fatty was still so calm and thinking of others.

I recollect that Fatty said he never reads novels and that Zhan Hongzhi who often tells stories should give Fatty a book list. Recently, Zhan held a reading club in Taichung, where he opened the event with a narrative from the classic “Robinson Crusoe” by Daniel Defoe, quoting Roland Barth who said, “Even if a totalitarian dictatorship bans all books, as long as there is a copy of “Robinson Crusoe,” human civilization can be reconstructed.” In other words, when the familiar order of civilization disappears in the blink of an eye and we are suddenly in a savage, deserted and unfamiliar place, we can carry on as long as we hold on to our core values of civilization and humanity.

As Ma Ka Fai said, we must abide by these values, otherwise, the will and optimism to carry on are merely survival techniques. If we fail to become a good person, even if we leave the desert island one day, we may have already become a demon who has lost his own identity. “Live a life worthy of your respect, and then, wait for tomorrow in silence.”

Besides books, there is also music. In prison, you can listen to the radio, and Ah Lam said she wanted to listen to Anson Lo and Jer. My guess is that Fatty did not know them (I asked Fatty where he learned to make the “hand heart” gesture during the visit, and he just said he knows it). If I could, I’d like to dedicate to Fatty “700 Years Later,” not because of Eason Chan but because of Riley Pong, whose lyrics are said to be inspired by PIXAR’s “WALL-E” - the story of the robot that still silently looks after the remains of civilization even after mankind has abandoned the earth in ruins.

(Chan Pui-man, associate publisher of Apple Daily)

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