Very often we get used to reacting to the circumstances around us in negative emotions. We may feel furious toward a person hurting or cheating us. We can be extremely sorrowful when we lose somebody. We think it is natural and reasonable to get involved in such negative emotions.

Nothing wrong with that if we cannot find something wrong with that. Why is it? The main reason is we submerge in emotions and are not aware of our situations. Therefore, we could be affected by emotions to a great extent. It is like the boat rocks in the waves. Our mind is the boat and emotions are waves. And the boat can only drift with emotions and also drift away from happiness.

Yes, negative emotions do not coexist with happiness. However, they can be a key to help us to pursue happiness. As long as we realize the essences and harms of negative emotions, we have motives to get rid of them and obtain the real happiness. To achieve that, the first thing we can do is to leave the boat and jump to the shore so that we can observe how emotional waves act without being affected by them.

That means we have to observe ourselves from a different standing point, switch from the first person to the third person. How to do that?

As we know, negative emotions are powerful and influential. It is very hard to keep a distance from them. Instead, we can be dragged by them easily as always. Therefore, confronting them face to face, such as analyzing or observing emotions directly, is not a wise or effective strategy. It is in this case that we can practice breathing meditation.

Our respiration functions continuously and spontaneously. In other words, it proceeds at every moment with a neutral quality.

Firstly, our breathing only exists at present. We cannot take a breath from the past or the future. Therefore, once we can observe our breathing wholeheartedly, our mind will be fixed on the present moment. As a result, we won’t be affected by our memories or distractive thoughts.

Besides, respiration is ethically neutral. There is no good or bad, right or wrong within. Breathing is breathing. We need it but we do not crave or hate it. This quality makes us keep away from our habitual emotions or reactions. Hence, we can observe respiration objectively. Just like we stand on the seashore and observe the tides coming and going and won’t get wet.

To sum up, we get used to negative emotions for we always indulge in them. And that makes us unhappy unknowingly. To get rid of negative emotions, we should reveal their harms and dangers. However, it is hard to observe emotions objectively for we can be dragged by them easily. Therefore, we observe our respiration at first instead. Since respiration proceeds in every moment, our mind or attention can be fixed on the present and get away from our past habits or reactions. In the same manner, we can apply this method and this ability to observe emotions. Thereafter, we can see the essence of emotions more clearly. Next time we will learn the technique of breathing meditation to pursue our inner happiness.

(Ven. Juetao is a Buddhist monk who obtained his Ph.D. from HKU. His research interest is Buddhist psychology, in specific, the cognitive processes of ordinary people in daily life. He is now engaged in the teaching of Buddhism and meditation in Hong Kong.)

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